Love it or loath it there are people with BBF are everywhere, all over insta, Facebook, twitter magazines etc. Its everywhere! It might not be BBF, it might be BF or B or just F or BB but there is a combination of those letters on a lot o the things we see on a day to day basis.
It’s not a massive secret that I’ve had botox and fillers but the most common comment is that I don’t look like I’ve had them. Which is good. Thats what I want. Some people like the look that its obvious that they’ve had stuff done but thats not what I was going for. I am also aware I don’t look my age. So this botox is what is known as preventive, stop and freeze the ageing process because you can’t reverse it totally unless your bloody loaded.
I turned 34 yesterday and when we were out last night the amount of times I had to get my ID out to prove my age because people thought I was in my mid twenties was laughable. I’ll take that though looking young however its both a blessing and a curse; Curse because men who are my age or older don’t approach me because they think I’m younger, instead I get the 25-30yr olds trying to chat me up which is lovely but they’re soooo baby faced!! Blessing because I will (hopefully always younger and I can grow old gracefully then)
Both botox and fillers hurt. It’s a needle into you skin and they inject you. Fillers hurt the most though. Ive had both the injection and a canular used to feed it in. not be be gross but the canular wouldn’t go past a point of scar tissue in one side of my lip at one point. God that made my eyes water even with the numbing cream on! As well botox actually takes 2 weeks to funny work, this is something I did not know!!! feels a bit like a constant headache at first however that soon goes away
The fillers were I just wanted a little bit more lip for my lips to sit on and a bit of definition. I think Ive had just under 2mls in total and it wasn’t all at the same time. I went and had a few sessions over a a few months. I have part of my cupids bow pigment missing (one of those things only I can see and think its obvious but its really not). I now have lovely lips and a a bit more definition. Turns out I run out of lip quicker now, more surface area I’m guessing. Also I get lippy on my chin now after I eat (no idea how that happens, its like my bottom lip just folds itself backwards) however I’m happy with them. For now. Probs due for a top up soon…
The botox was to only to prevent wrinkles but to hide my facial expressions in my new job. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m very expressive, with my face and hands etc. Also I use to think I had a pretty good poker face, turns out I was only lying to myself, my face says it even if my mouth doesn’t. My eyebrows seemed to have a life of their own moving about the show like Michael Flatly doing the River dance. And after a few long meetings I would notice my forehead made me look like I was a close cousin of the Klingon!! My face isn’t totally frozen, just dulled a bit. I can still frown at you, I can still almost do the peoples eyebrow when Im puzzled its just I have more control over it now! However after my first stabbing of botox my left eye brow (which I’ve never been able to move independently) decided it wanted to stand up for its Right sided sister and started to work all by itself. When I thought about it I couldn’t do it, when I wasn’t thinking that thing was giving The Rock a run for his money. Queue a text to my lady who does it and that eyebrow was put firmly back in her box!! It lasts about 3 months if your have a normal moving forehead (the less expressive you are he less the muscles try and fight it apparently).
And lastly the other B – boobs! I don’t have them, I have lots of padding. It’s a bit like false advertising really, sometime I think trading standards might pop up on a night out and be like “thats a lie, thats all foam!”. Ive never had boobs, Ive always had a bum and legs but never boobs. My weight goes on my bottom half and when I loose weight my boobs get even smaller as well as my legs and bum. It’s like gravity wins the fat battle in my body. Ive been toying with the idea of having a boob job for ages. I had an ex who wouldn’t let me consider it because he’s had gf previously who had their boobs done and then grown loads of confidence and ditched him (yes, yes I know what a tosser he was/is and yes yes it was one of the many red flags ignored). So Ive made a decision that in 12 months (well I decided this in September so in 10 months if I still want the op and I’m still thinking about it I’m going to go for it. Ive asked my mates to ask me if I’m still considering it (they’ve added reminders to their phones) and If the answer is yes then thats it. I’ll of been thinking about it for well over 2 years by then and thats a long time to make a decision. Pammy and Jordan won’t be my inspiration what will be is to be able to wear a pencil dress and it fit in the right places or be able to have a slight cleavage from time to time and not look like and feel a boy.
I would like to point out that whilst some of you reading this will be ‘but you don’t need all this stuff doing’ and I guess you’re right. I probably don’t need it. But the thing is I want it. What you see when you look at me is not what I see. I have a friend and we joke (I say joke its not a funny thing to laugh at but you have to find humour somewhere) about having body dysmorphia or a version of it, we both don’t see what the other one sees. They think they’re always fat and could always do with loosing weight and I don’t see it I say they’re perfect as they are. I talk about my things and what I see because and they disagree with me. This isn’t done for attention of the other one, this is a genuine thing. We both hate compliments and it makes us uncomfortable to hear them. I guess everyone has bit about then they want to change or enhance and if they want to do it and they can then why shouldn’t they. Im trying everyday to be the best mental version of myself so why shouldn’t I try to be the best physical version of me too? I don’t need to go the gym but I want to, I don’t need to eat healthy but I want to. I don’t need to go out and get drunk but I want to.
In my eyes there’s nothing wrong with enhancing yourself. Makeup enhances, hair dyes and extensions enhance and people are always ok about these things. No-one seems to be to judgmental about those. However people seem to want to give their opinion on cosmetic enhancements. I support because its more permanent. I know you have to be careful when doing it. If you aren’t happy with yourself then no amount of fillers, botox or boobs will make you feel better, they just mask what you’re hiding. And while I’m not totally happy with myself I mean as I said earlier hand on heart who 100% is? (if you are though message me and I’d be so open to listening to how you managed it) I’m doing this because I want to. I don’t have someone in my ear saying you don’t look right or you could do with being less Klingon.
What I will say though is make sure if you are thinking about it that you choose someone reputable wether it’s surgical or non-surgical. for example Fillers can be done by anyone with training as a prescription is needed so they don’t need to be a nurse or anything like that. Botox however has to be done by someone thats a qualified professional so a nurse, doctor etc. This link gives a good explanation (better than I can).
Hab SoSli’ Quch!
Qapla’!
Tales of Grace 
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